The framework… the short version.
Six ways humans know they've been seen.
Not how you like affection. Not how you think. How you know, in your chest, that your experience actually landed on another human. Everyone leads with one or two… gives in one or two (usually different ones)… and misreads the rest daily.
The Switchboard
Plug into a language… hear what it sounds like.
Tap any jack on mobile… hover or click on desktop. The line will find its port.
pick a line… let's connect you.
And here's the twist that changes everything…
How you give is rarely how you need to receive. Most of us give in the exact language we're starving for… because modeling feels safer than asking.
Two people can love each other completely, work as hard as two people can work… and both end up invisible. Nobody's withholding. Nobody's broken. It's a translation problem. And translation problems are solvable the minute both languages have names.
And one more layer… capacity.
Knowing someone's language tells you what they need. It doesn't tell you whether the people around them can give it right now. That's capacity… and it's why "if they wanted to, they would" is usually the wrong question. The right ones… is this a won't or a can't… and what would build capacity back? The full capacity work runs through everything I do in rooms.
🐿️ Ready to find yours? Five minutes… no email wall.
→ Take the QuizThis framework is a living document… seven years in and still growing, like its author. The deep version, the research, and each full profile live at validationlanguages.com.